Rewind

Do you ever wish you could go back and change something knowing what you know now?

Whisper words of wisdom...

*Note: This is not a poem or a paragraph or an essay or anything that English teachers should grade.  I formally call this: a blahb.

My Mother

My mother was born.
Yes, once upon a time Lisa was born in...Idaho?  Maybe?  Holy cow I just realized I don't know where my mother was born.  Eh hem...once upon a time my mother grew up in a tiny town in Idaho.  Her friends called her dot because she was so short and skinny.  Like a dot.  She was on the dance team and had long, flowy, naturally blonde hair.  She was beautiful.

Mom was born quirky. Mom likes to eat things that are not edible.  She eats erasers, paper, cardboard, etc.  I know, weird.  When I was a kid I thought it was normal to eat (yes, eat) the scraggly ends of of notebook paper that you tear out of a spiral notebook.  My mother made us all believe that it was normal.  And then I grew up and was made fun of and stopped that habit quickly.  I remember when my little sister, Rebecca, drew a master piece drawing of the ocean during church and my mom was on the phone (not paying attention), and she ate half of Becca's drawing.  Hahaha.  Becca was devastated and my mom felt horrible.

Mother was not born to be emotional.  Side hugs will be all that you get from my mom.  She is awkward when you get mushy and would rather die than let you see her cry.  She is a tough woman.

Mom was born with super-powers.  She can cook anything, do ANY hairstyle, and sew anything (seriously, prom dress, quilts, curtains, bridesmaid dress, you name it). Oh, and she can do all of this in record time.  My mom moves so quickly she sweats.  I'll never forget the "game" we played practically every day to get the house clean.  Mom would set the timer, and we'd see if we could beat our last record time to clean a specific room.  To motivate us, she would yell "Quick!  I hear dad pulling in the garage!"  All the while sweat would be dripping down her face as she vacuumed.  She knows the meaning of hard work.

My mom was not born to keep secrets.  She gets too excited and can't keep anything in.  :)  She denies this.
 
Most importantly, my mother was born to be a mother.  It is her destiny.  She does not judge a soul.  One person will never be greater than another person in my mother's eyes.  She sees everyone in the same light.  I love that.  She is funny, dependable, and does not think of herself ever.  Her thoughts and actions are always for someone else.  She's laid back and easy to relate to.  She and my dad have raised 9 kids. I love my mom!

I am beautiful, smart, talented, and the best person in the world, dang it!!!

I'm going on a new kick.  It's called the confidence kick.  Wanna come?
I used to be so confident, maybe a little too confident.
I remember a church leader in high school told me I looked beautiful at prom.  Right after she said that, she whispered "don't tell your mom I told you, when I told her she said not to tell you because it would get to your already big head."  Hahahaha oh mom.  Always looking out for me.  But it was true, I had a big head.  My best friend and I would draw cartoon pictures of ourselves being hotter than everyone else.  When I think of those days, I laugh.  They were immature times, but they were shamelessly happy.
What happens when people grow up?  Why must we become so serious?  Why must we lose that youthful spark?  Don't get me wrong, I think that it is necessary to become wiser and responsible and all of that good stuff.  But why so serious?  I think I may get so caught up in day to day life that I lose confidence in myself.  I lose sight of who I really am.  I am a confident, beautiful, smart, and talented girl.  And so are all of you.  Every person is this big-a world should hold their head up high because they are living and lasting.  Most importantly, I am a child, a daughter, of God.  We all are. Would he want it any other way?  So YOU, yes, YOU, one of the five people who may be sitting at their computer reading this post.  Come with me and let's rock this world with confidence!

It does not matter what others see in you.  It matter what you see in yourself.

P.S Watch this video.  I want to start doing this in the mirror every day.

I'm sick of DC. Take me to the west.

Sometimes, it feels good to complain.
There I said it.
I know, it's not very lady-like.
It may be down right immature.
But I said it.

I feel like sometimes it is better to be truthful to yourself than to sugar coat something that doesn't taste good with sugar.  If you lose sight of the truth, you will lose sight of yourself.

Consequences.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Newton was a smart man.

As I contemplate this law of motion, the simplicity becomes blurred.  I translate the law's elements into the elements of my life and interpret it as something much more deep than physics.

The affect that human beings can have on each other is infinite.

People.  You, me, him, her, mom, dad, friends, lovers, strangers, and enemies.

For every action or decision that a person makes, there an equal reaction on the people he or she surrounds themselves with.  Have you ever heard someone say "the choices I make don't affect anyone but myself"?  Usually those type of words come out of a younger, more immature person.  I can bet you that an old wise man will never say those words.  Why?  Because he has lived and he has loved.  He knows that humans interacting with humans make up this strange and phenomenal thing we call life.  He knows that every action he has made, big or small, has had an impact on the people he has surrounded himself with.  That is life.  People bouncing and reacting off other people.

Then my thoughts turn to the closest relationships I have in my life.  I think of the way others' decisions have influenced me.  Bittersweet thoughts racing through my head.  Others' mistakes and decisions have influenced me tremendously.  Hurt sucks.  But this I know: hurt can heal and love will prevail.  Scars may form and never fully go away but powerful love can override this hurt.  What the heck is love anyway?  I feel like people (including myself at times) speak about love like it's this imaginary "air" that hazes through people and hypnotizes them, guiding them to another person who has the same "haze" encircling them.  No, that is not love.  The love I am talking about is hard-work kind of love.  Love where someone makes a conscious decision to show affection or care to someone else and that someone else reacts to that conscious decision.  This is not always easy.  Love may not be the "convenient" or "easy" thing to do.  Sometimes it may not give you instant satisfaction, but the long term value of true hard-work kind of love is priceless.  Love is the action and reaction of two people.  That's it, all actions and reactions.

I think I may be growing up.  I imagine that girl just a few years ago.  She was innocent, beautiful, and extremely naive.  She watched Pride and Prejudice on nights when she didn't go out, dreaming about Mr. Darcy.  She laughed with her best friend about the secret fruit names she had given to her crushes.  She was positive and hopeful.  She would write songs that would show people into her soul.  She was an open book.  I am not that girl anymore, but I am better for it.  I really do mean that.  

Love is not like a fairy tale.  Fortunately, it is much deeper.  It can be really, really hard sometimes, but the sweetest moments of love are sweeter than any fairy tale imaginable.

Innocence will never give you wisdom.  People who have let me down or surprised me for the better give me a more realistic look on life.  I am more guarded but wiser for the affects people have had on me.  I am still positive and hopeful, but in a different way.  Instead of attention, money, and beauty, my hopes and dreams revolve around people.  Successful relationships with my husband, family, friends, and co-workers.


And these racing thoughts come full circle.

Newton was a very smart man.

I've had a lot of delightful experiences in my life.  I've been blessed with super-parents and 8 brothers and sisters who I couldn't live without.  I've been blessed with a love and passion for music.  I've been so lucky to have so many people and experiences that have eternally marked my soul.  

Sharing my life with someone who fits so perfectly with me has been the greatest experience of all.  We have our own little world together that no one will quite understand, except maybe God.  I'm in love with my husband.

When the moon hits your eyes.

It's been a while.  

Life is has been oh so deliciously sweet.  I'm head over heels for mon petite chou chou (my little cabbage...an endearing french term).  He is oh so ravishing and I love him more and more each day.  We have officially decided that we are staying in DC for the next year and a half.  We will be learning the ropes of the pest control business.  I'm excited to settle down here (for a little while at least).  I am starting to feel a cozy and inviting feeling when I step in our apartment door each day and have developed the habit of saying "home sweet home" as I look around our first home.  Though it is INFESTED with house centipedes (google image search that shiz if you want to be grossed out) and I literally killed a spider on my forehead as I was laying in bed at 4am, we like it.  It is home.

Ben and I are finally taking our honeymoon!  Hooray!  And boy oh boy is Benny boo boo boo making up for the honeymoon tardiness.  We will be spending 3 beautiful weeks in Italy, Greece, and Turkey.  I cannot be more excited!  The last week we will be accompanied by Tim (Ben's brother) and Kelsey (my sister-in-law/my best friend's sister/one of my sister's best friends/my friend who I grew up with) on a Mediterranean cruise.   THAT is Amore!

We leave tomorrow!  Ciao!

Lighters

I know every single word to the rap in the first song on my playlist.  Yep.  Tight, dawg.

I have a music crush on Bruno Mars and Eminem.

First there's Bruno.  His writing style is simple and catchy.  His melodies have a big range and are quite dreamy while his lyrics are funny but extremely simple and cliche (haha I LOVE cliche).  My own writing style consists of pretty simple lyrics mixed with a wide ranged melody so I heart Bruno (On a musical level, you guys.  Totally platonic.  I'm a married woman and I'm insulted you would even think anything else).

Then there's Eminem.  Totally opposite.  In my opinion, Eminem is one of the most quick witted musicians ever.  Notice I didn't say rapper.  I usually brush rappers off.  I can count on one hand how many rappers I have respect for on a musical level.  I call Eminem a musician because his gift for rhythm is remarkable.  On top of that, his raps are completely unique and clever.

Eminem is a bluntly honest rapper while Bruno is an idealist lyricist.  Together it's chips and salsa.

*As a side note, the song on my playlist is edited.  I would not suggest downloading the unedited version.  I apologize for the one word that is not edited out.

Shout 'em, scout 'em, tell all about 'em...

I love watching so many of my music friends go on and succeed in the music industry.  One of my dear friends from high school, Daniella Mason, is well on her way to becoming something BIG.  She and I used to be songwriting buddies back in the day.  I'll never forget the dramatic boy-hating song we wrote and performed called "The Truth."  She's an amazing singer/songwriter and an amazing person.  Check out her new music video!

Oh bla di, oh bla da.

Hey remember that time I went out of town for like 6 weekends straight and the only noteworthy pictures I took were the following?

I suck.

I promise I have friends here in VA.  I just never take pictures of them.  I also promise that I do exciting things with those friends.  I just forget to capture those moments.

Like the other weekend we went to Rehoboth beach in Delaware.  So much fun!  I just love the ocean.  We went with the whole Moxie team.  It's always fun to take a break from the horrible schedule and have fun splashing in the waves (or for me, getting absolutely terrified that the waves were going to eat me).  Here's the beach, except imagine it with about 104874 billion people on it (approximately).

The boardwalk was pretty nice compared to other east coast beaches but it was also a lot shorter.  It was so much fun to sit back and relax with the Moxie crew.  I really do love them.

We also went camping.  Our intentions were to go camping in the beautiful Shenandoah national forest but all the campsites were booked so we ended up camping in a place called "Gooney Creek Campground" about 5 minutes outside of the forest.  It was basically the backyard of a trailer park. :)

There she is in all her glory.  I didn't take this pic.  I don't take pictures, remember?

We still had fun though.  Ben was able to set up his massive tent and we squeezed some fishing in as well.

We also went to Ohio for Ben and I's reception.  Lots of good food, good family, and good fun!

Ohio is pretty.  The east in general is pretty.  It's older too.  Like all the Walmarts are falling apart...but that's a whole different story.  The east has a lot of history behind it and I feel more "American" when I'm in the east.

Oh and how could I forget my weekend in Utah? Mawwiage is what bwings us togetha. I got married in this beautiful place:

For forever.

I feel really blessed to be able to spend eternity with Ben.  I also feel blessed to know that I am a daughter of Heavenly Father.  That knowledge strengthens me.

So that's been my life lately.  No complaints here.

Oh and p.s.  Look at the shoes Ben surprised me with! So hot!  Such a good hubs.  They take me back to my childhood when I was absolutely obsessed with pink and purple.  Not just pink, or just purple, but the two colors together