Welllp...

The past few days have left me feeling like this:

and this:

and this:

and this:

And while I'm seriously glad it's all over, It's been a learning experience!! Roller coaster emotions bring out the best and the worst in people.  Yeppp.  That's all really.

Phew.

Love.

A lot has happened since last post.

I had a wonderful Christmas break with my family. 

I started my last semester at BYU.  Yeah, I know, weird.

I went on a cruise to Cabo.  A week of 80 degree sunshine and endless amounts of food?  I think yes.

Annnnnnddddd...

I got engaged!

Ben proposed on a beach at sunset in San Diego.  It was perfect.  He's perfect. 

Life has never been better!  I'm so in love and content with where my life is going.

Don't get me wrong, everything hasn't been handed to me on a silver platter.

(especially when it comes to love)

Don't you worry.  

It's been a long and dramatic path for Heather Neeley.

As I look back on the road I've traveled so far, I've realized a few things.  Life is not perfect, people make mistakes, crap happens for no reason, and decisions will be made that will be regretted.  And though I am in no way embracing these bad things that happen, the black holes, the sleepless nights, the tears that seem like they'll never end, and the cloudy days have made me a better person.  

I've also learned that life is beautiful.

Just when it seems like you can't take anymore, that ray of sunshine peaks out just when you need it to.

It's cliche, I know.

But there's a reason why so many songs talk about "the broken road that lead me straight to you" or "the light at the end of the tunnel."  It's true.  Happiness WILL be obtained.  These little gems in life will make you feel like a giddy school girl.  You'll feel happiness that you will never forget.  You just gotta bear through the storm.  Then after a refreshing day in the sunshine, it may rain again.  But that's life.  Would you have it any other way? 

Ben is the sunshine that I need (sorry to be so gushy).  I know that getting a ring on my finger is in no way a "happily ever after" and I will never say that it is but my goodness it is certainly the biggest freaking gem (ha, no pun intended) that I've ever experienced.  A milestone is coming in my life.  I'm graduating and ready to face the big bad real world.  I'm getting married.  MARRIED.  That's so crazy to say.  I'm moving out of Utah and across the country.  I have no idea where I'll be in a year and that's scary and beautiful all at once.  Utah has been good to me but I am oh so ready for this.  In fact, I have never felt so ready to embrace a new phase of life.  Though I feel like I've learned a lot so far, I'm just beginning.  I'm just a pee wee player in this game of life and I have so much more to learn and face. 

So here's to you, future, 

bring it on.

Lucky

 

Right now, at 2:16am, in the middle of finals week, I'm feeling very lucky.

Lucky to have amazing friends, a good family, great professors, a wonderful boyfriend who treats me so incredibly well, talents that enable me to express my feelings in a way that I can't normally, and opportunities to learn and grow through the things I experience, the mistakes I make, and the blessings I receive.

Though life can be fragile and touchy and hectic and downright mad....it is oh so good.

I'll be home for Christmas

Well, folks, it's been a year since I've been home.  I'm not the type of girl who has to be clinging to mommy and daddy all the time.  I'm pretty independent and comfortable being alone, but enough is enough. A year is too long for a single college girl to be away from home.  In the past two years, I have only been home once.  I dunno why it ended up that way but here I am missing home and so ready for a break.

Home is happy (even with the constant, and i mean constant, arguing over silly games and politics and whatever else there is in the world to argue about).  Home is comfortable.  I don't have to impress anyone at home.  My family knows me as the bossy little girl who wouldn't wear anything except Disney princess underwear but they also know me as the senior in college music major who gets so busy she forgets to eat for a whole day.  They see and know every aspect of me and like-it or hate-it...they still love me.

It's fun to be with my family.  Oh how we laugh (i'll never forget the day when we were screaming at the top of our lungs Whitney Houston's 'I Will Always Love You' when the doorbell rang and a freaked out neighborhood girl returned the basketball that had rolled down the street).  We do inside jokes like it's our job.  We are so obnoxious. There was time we played truth or dare and we made Lindsay stay in the dog kennel for 2 minutes and Megan and Rachel had to switch clothes in the playhouse in one minute.  How long ago was this you ask?  Just last year. :)

I have a huge family.  I'm 6th out of 9 kids.  To get all the questions out of the way: no, there are no twins/adoptions, no, there is no polygamy, and yes, I always remember their names (these are the questions that I always got growing up).  Maybe in Utah it wouldn't be so weird to have a big family..but in Texas, it is.  My family has been a big part of forming who I am, and though I am in no way perfect (in fact, sometimes I wonder just what the H i'm doing), i like me.

In conclusion, I am excited for the pillars of our house that are wrapped in Christmas lights, the wooden Rudolph that will always be on our fireplace, the brown Texas grass, the constant playing of Hanson's "Snowed In" CD, the card games that get so intense that sometimes there are tears, the silent laughing during family prayers, the trips to the roller skating rink (our family literally takes over Skatetown), the laundry shoot adventures, the matinée movies, and the love.


I'll be home for Christmas.

Just thoughts.

Ok, I realize that I'm a complete lame butt with my blog.  But seriously school has been H-E-double hockey sticks lately.

I'm feeling random today.

The ghost in the haunted house told me my shirt was ugly.  Excuse me??  Well I thought her bloody white face and torn up dress were ugly.

McDonalds dollar menu is the best thing in the world. 

I'm anxious for Thanksgiving.  I will going camping for a week straight.  I think the last time I camped was when I was 12 and it was for one night...not a whole week (This excludes girls camp.  Southlake girls camp in air conditioned cabins doesn't really qualify as camping).  I'm excited though.

My younger siblings are getting so oooollddd and it's weird.

I want a pet.  But I want it to be pre-trained.  And not shed.  And not have to eat.  And clean up after itself.

My nieces and nephews are the cutest things in the world.  mmmm.

I like fall.  The colors, the pumpkins, the chill, the leaves, and the feeling in the air.  I love it all. 

I don't dream of a white Christmas.  I don't dream of snow ever.

I watch TV now.  It's been 3 years since I've watched TV and I think I like it.  I don't like to hold the remote but I do like to boss the remote holder around.

Ben watches Animal Planet like it's his job and knows everything there is to know about the most deadly insects, spiders, mammals, and reptiles in the world.  It's funny.

So there.

Um. Ouch.

Once upon a time I thought I knew what four wheeling was.  I thought I had gone four wheeling several times.  I was wrong.

You may think that four wheeling is getting on one of these:

And then gracefully riding down something like this:

All the while laughing, taking pictures, and enjoying the view. 

Wrong.  Wrong wrong wrong. 

This weekend I went four wheeling. "Real" four wheeling. 

The trails looked like this:

and this:

My four wheeler did this:

Leaving me with a bunch of scrapes looking like this:

My four wheeler crashed, we decided to take a "short cut" and go off the trail into an abyss of cliffs and wild animals, we got a flat tire, we got stranded in the middle of nowhere, and we almost died.  I'd call it a successful day of four wheeling!!

But really, it was fun. 

Note to reader:  the pictures of the scary trails and upside down four wheeler aren't mine.  I may or may not have added them for dramatic effect.  The trails really were scary and I really did flip over though. :)

Silly Goose

I don't know how to cook.
I make good chocolate chip cookies (mom's recipe).

I will sing to all radio songs, you cannot stop me.

I will probably dance to those songs as well.

I roll my eyes every 5 seconds.

I procrastinate like it's my job.
I'm happy most of the time.
I am ambitious about my future.
I used to hate it when the neighborhood kids would say "salute to the Neeley nation!"
I love to sing.
I'm horrible at basketball.
I'm sympathetic.
I'm number 6 in my family.
I'm very stubborn.
I'm funny.
I will space out for hours if you let me.
I'm a fast mover (once again, get it from my mom).
I'm obnoxious.
I'm forgiving.
I snort for no reason.
I'm very competitive (mostly with card games).
I smile a lot.
I love being a girl.
I'm weird. Just plain weird.

I am proud of who I am.
And you love all that stuff.

"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.  Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your behind.  That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." -JUNO

OH MY GOSH. This made my day.

Create a website

Really?

I went to the library tonight.  At 10pm.  You know why?  Because I was bored.  I thought the library would be exciting.  THE LIBRARY.  Is this a bad sign??  I vote yes.

Will you just get here already???

Well I feel sheepish...

Hehe. He. Hehe. Sorry for the absence.  Life is still good blah de blah blah.
I'm still selling.  I feel like Tom Hanks in Cast Away when he says "I...HAVE MADE FIRE!" and pounds his fists to his chest.  I..HAVE SOLD PEST CONTROL!

Things that have come with this job:
1. My voice is literally lower
2. I am extremely sweaty....allll the timeee.
3. I wear the same white loose polo every day.  Shexy.
4. Bugs don't have NOTHIN on me!
5. 90 degrees is a cool day.
6. Getting home early from work is getting home at 10:15pm.
7. Sunday is the best day of the week. Hands down.
8. The greatest and closest friends are made when doing hard things together.
9. Happiness starts with keeping commitments.
10. I HATE...i repeat...HATE the smell of curry.
11. I'm really good at pretending to love pets.
12. Monster, Red Bull, Full Throttle.  Meet my new best friends.

Life is really good.
I am happy.