it's a beautiful life

Here’s the truth.   I’ve been trying to write a deep post.  I’ve probably written and erased about 10 paragraphs.  At first, I tried to come up with an insightful analogy that would keep you thinking.  Then I came up with a story of a girl. And let me be honest, when it’s a story of a “girl” it is almost always an indirect story of myself.  Erased that.  Soon my thoughts and words turned into doubt.  I have writer’s block, I thought.  Even though I’m not at all a writer and a blog post isn’t exactly a “piece” or an essay or anything of importance at all really.

So now here I sit and the only thing I can think of to write are the facts of my life currently. So here are the facts:

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  Yes, I stole that from Kelly.  In my head, we’re on a first name basis.  She just doesn’t know who I am, that’s all.  Hard things happen.  I cannot avoid this plain and simple fact. And in the moment of hardship, the only thing I want to do is give the world a double bird and feel sorry for myself.  When the tornado decides to leave, you look at the damage.  What can be salvaged?  A lot is lost and must be rebuilt.  Some of the damage can never be repaired.  It may be a year before your life is normal again.  Though tornados in life suck, you cannot say they do not make you stronger.  I can bet that you’ll be more prepared if another disaster decides to strike.  And if it does strike, it won’t do the damage it did before.  Because let’s face it, you’re a bad-a who survived a TORNADO.

I am happy. The dictionary says that happiness results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good.  To me, the most important things in life that should be on a “good” status are the gospel, my husband, my family, my educational development, and my health.  Though some of those areas are a definite work in progress (omg all I can think about is the 5 pieces of pizza from Cici’s that I gorged today at lunch), it’s an uphill movement, heh.  Nothing is going down or stagnant.  Incline=good. Posession of good=happiness.  Haha, who knew that happiness was that simple, right??

I am more in love than ever before. I really mean that.  I’ve seen and heard the same story over and over again.  An old couple says they love each other more now then they ever have.  But then I look at the couple.  They never hold hands or display any amount of affection.  They give each other tired and worn out smiles without an ounce of passion.  The old man jokes about his “ball and chain” and the woman holds her love for her children high above her love for her husband.  Harsh?  Maybe.  But it’s what I see.  I don’t want my marriage to become that.  I don’t want the affection to stop or the passion to die.  I want my marriage to be my life’s work.  I want my marriage to be my masterpiece.  I believe that it will be one of the only things I can take away from this world.  I know you may be rolling your eyes.  Who am I to say that I don’t want the passion to die when I have only been married for one measly year?   I know there’s a long way to go and it will be harder than I think but it's a promise I've made to myself.  When I look into my lovely husband's eyes, I feel more giddy, more in love, and more content than ever before.  I love him more today than I did when when he first told me he loved me on the beach 2 years ago.  I think we probably hold hands, cuddle, and tell each other we love each other 10 times more then when we dated and I love that.  It just keeps getting better.  

What you put in to the world, you will get out of the world.  This statement comes in many forms.  Karma. When you choose the right, you will receive blessings, etc.  I remember I had a guy friend in college who would frequent the hot dog stand that I worked at.  He told me that he believed the universe would give you only what you gave it.  He thought my life was charmed and he blamed it all on this idea.  He said I was an optimistic person who put an optimistic vibe out.  He thought the only reason my life was smooth was because I gave out positive vibes and I expected positive results to come back.  I laughed at his hippy talk.  I thought it was flattering, but I didn't believe it.  As I look back, I understand what he meant.  A bad day is only a bad day if I say it is.  I am in control of my life, and how I feel about my life.  If there is something I do not like, I am the only person that can change that.  I've had moments when I've been pessimistic (and when I say moments, I mean longish moments that last months).  I look on the sarcastic and bitter side to every story.  What do you think came of that thought process?  A sarcastic and bitter life?  You got it!  When I am thinking positive thoughts and doing positive actions, life is a whole lot smoother.  It may appear to be a mystical universe phenomenon, but it's really quite simple.  Be happy.  You will have a happy life if you are happy inside.  I am the only person who can make me happy and when I have ugly thoughts I cannot blame them on anyone who has done me wrong.  I can blame them on myself.
On a less deep note, here's a short update on the specifics going on at Headrick household.  We have been so blessed to be able to spend the last year and a half in Virginia.  We have been working for Ben's brother, Tim, for Moxie Pest Control.  We have been learning the ropes to the business because we are planning on opening our own branch.  It's been a wonderful experience and Virginia has taught me so much.  I have definitely realized my love for the West since I've been out here, however.  Maybe I'm not the city girl I thought I was.  Wide open spaces, no traffic, and friendly cultures are much more appealing to me than the hustle and bustle of a crammed in city life.  We have been lucky to be able to travel a lot since we've been married.  Next week we are going to Hawaii for a little bit.  After that we are moving to Utah for about six months to recruit, recruit, recruit!  I am so excited to move...you have no idea!  I will be around most of my Neeley sisters, who I have felt secluded from the past year and a half, and I will be in beautiful Utah.  Then we will be moving to our new location!  We don't know where it is yet, but we do have some top choices!  We need to visit and research these places first.  The new location will be, after all, where we could be living for the rest of our lives!
Thanks for listening! 

field of heather

Do you know where the name Heather comes from?  A flower.  A tiny purple flower also known as Lavender.  When I was young, I hated the fact that I was named after an insignificant tiny flower while my older sister, Lindsay, had a name that meant "god-like."

It's funny, really.  Now I realize how dead-on my brother was when naming me (yes, my 8-year-old brother named me.  i was kid number 6 so my parents were lax on the whole naming the baby thing).  I'm slightly obsessed with gardens.  If I didn't major in music, I would have gone into landscape architecture.  When I was young I wanted to be the girl in The Secret Garden more than anything and my high school friends called me a hippy.  Unfortunately, growing up also means you get this new stick that you have to shove up your butt (pardon the language) so I'm not quite the "hippy" I once was, but there's still a little song-writing space case in here somewhere.

Yes.  I am a flower.  I am small.  Alone, I may not seem that impressive.  But I am me and I am important.  With all the other flowers in the field, I can be quite a sight.  This makes me think of the people I am surrounded with.  They build me up and make me who I truly am.  For as God said, it is not good for man to be alone.

Rewind

Do you ever wish you could go back and change something knowing what you know now?

Whisper words of wisdom...

*Note: This is not a poem or a paragraph or an essay or anything that English teachers should grade.  I formally call this: a blahb.

My Mother

My mother was born.
Yes, once upon a time Lisa was born in...Idaho?  Maybe?  Holy cow I just realized I don't know where my mother was born.  Eh hem...once upon a time my mother grew up in a tiny town in Idaho.  Her friends called her dot because she was so short and skinny.  Like a dot.  She was on the dance team and had long, flowy, naturally blonde hair.  She was beautiful.

Mom was born quirky. Mom likes to eat things that are not edible.  She eats erasers, paper, cardboard, etc.  I know, weird.  When I was a kid I thought it was normal to eat (yes, eat) the scraggly ends of of notebook paper that you tear out of a spiral notebook.  My mother made us all believe that it was normal.  And then I grew up and was made fun of and stopped that habit quickly.  I remember when my little sister, Rebecca, drew a master piece drawing of the ocean during church and my mom was on the phone (not paying attention), and she ate half of Becca's drawing.  Hahaha.  Becca was devastated and my mom felt horrible.

Mother was not born to be emotional.  Side hugs will be all that you get from my mom.  She is awkward when you get mushy and would rather die than let you see her cry.  She is a tough woman.

Mom was born with super-powers.  She can cook anything, do ANY hairstyle, and sew anything (seriously, prom dress, quilts, curtains, bridesmaid dress, you name it). Oh, and she can do all of this in record time.  My mom moves so quickly she sweats.  I'll never forget the "game" we played practically every day to get the house clean.  Mom would set the timer, and we'd see if we could beat our last record time to clean a specific room.  To motivate us, she would yell "Quick!  I hear dad pulling in the garage!"  All the while sweat would be dripping down her face as she vacuumed.  She knows the meaning of hard work.

My mom was not born to keep secrets.  She gets too excited and can't keep anything in.  :)  She denies this.
 
Most importantly, my mother was born to be a mother.  It is her destiny.  She does not judge a soul.  One person will never be greater than another person in my mother's eyes.  She sees everyone in the same light.  I love that.  She is funny, dependable, and does not think of herself ever.  Her thoughts and actions are always for someone else.  She's laid back and easy to relate to.  She and my dad have raised 9 kids. I love my mom!

I am beautiful, smart, talented, and the best person in the world, dang it!!!

I'm going on a new kick.  It's called the confidence kick.  Wanna come?
I used to be so confident, maybe a little too confident.
I remember a church leader in high school told me I looked beautiful at prom.  Right after she said that, she whispered "don't tell your mom I told you, when I told her she said not to tell you because it would get to your already big head."  Hahahaha oh mom.  Always looking out for me.  But it was true, I had a big head.  My best friend and I would draw cartoon pictures of ourselves being hotter than everyone else.  When I think of those days, I laugh.  They were immature times, but they were shamelessly happy.
What happens when people grow up?  Why must we become so serious?  Why must we lose that youthful spark?  Don't get me wrong, I think that it is necessary to become wiser and responsible and all of that good stuff.  But why so serious?  I think I may get so caught up in day to day life that I lose confidence in myself.  I lose sight of who I really am.  I am a confident, beautiful, smart, and talented girl.  And so are all of you.  Every person is this big-a world should hold their head up high because they are living and lasting.  Most importantly, I am a child, a daughter, of God.  We all are. Would he want it any other way?  So YOU, yes, YOU, one of the five people who may be sitting at their computer reading this post.  Come with me and let's rock this world with confidence!

It does not matter what others see in you.  It matter what you see in yourself.

P.S Watch this video.  I want to start doing this in the mirror every day.

I'm sick of DC. Take me to the west.

Sometimes, it feels good to complain.
There I said it.
I know, it's not very lady-like.
It may be down right immature.
But I said it.

I feel like sometimes it is better to be truthful to yourself than to sugar coat something that doesn't taste good with sugar.  If you lose sight of the truth, you will lose sight of yourself.

Consequences.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Newton was a smart man.

As I contemplate this law of motion, the simplicity becomes blurred.  I translate the law's elements into the elements of my life and interpret it as something much more deep than physics.

The affect that human beings can have on each other is infinite.

People.  You, me, him, her, mom, dad, friends, lovers, strangers, and enemies.

For every action or decision that a person makes, there an equal reaction on the people he or she surrounds themselves with.  Have you ever heard someone say "the choices I make don't affect anyone but myself"?  Usually those type of words come out of a younger, more immature person.  I can bet you that an old wise man will never say those words.  Why?  Because he has lived and he has loved.  He knows that humans interacting with humans make up this strange and phenomenal thing we call life.  He knows that every action he has made, big or small, has had an impact on the people he has surrounded himself with.  That is life.  People bouncing and reacting off other people.

Then my thoughts turn to the closest relationships I have in my life.  I think of the way others' decisions have influenced me.  Bittersweet thoughts racing through my head.  Others' mistakes and decisions have influenced me tremendously.  Hurt sucks.  But this I know: hurt can heal and love will prevail.  Scars may form and never fully go away but powerful love can override this hurt.  What the heck is love anyway?  I feel like people (including myself at times) speak about love like it's this imaginary "air" that hazes through people and hypnotizes them, guiding them to another person who has the same "haze" encircling them.  No, that is not love.  The love I am talking about is hard-work kind of love.  Love where someone makes a conscious decision to show affection or care to someone else and that someone else reacts to that conscious decision.  This is not always easy.  Love may not be the "convenient" or "easy" thing to do.  Sometimes it may not give you instant satisfaction, but the long term value of true hard-work kind of love is priceless.  Love is the action and reaction of two people.  That's it, all actions and reactions.

I think I may be growing up.  I imagine that girl just a few years ago.  She was innocent, beautiful, and extremely naive.  She watched Pride and Prejudice on nights when she didn't go out, dreaming about Mr. Darcy.  She laughed with her best friend about the secret fruit names she had given to her crushes.  She was positive and hopeful.  She would write songs that would show people into her soul.  She was an open book.  I am not that girl anymore, but I am better for it.  I really do mean that.  

Love is not like a fairy tale.  Fortunately, it is much deeper.  It can be really, really hard sometimes, but the sweetest moments of love are sweeter than any fairy tale imaginable.

Innocence will never give you wisdom.  People who have let me down or surprised me for the better give me a more realistic look on life.  I am more guarded but wiser for the affects people have had on me.  I am still positive and hopeful, but in a different way.  Instead of attention, money, and beauty, my hopes and dreams revolve around people.  Successful relationships with my husband, family, friends, and co-workers.


And these racing thoughts come full circle.

Newton was a very smart man.

I've had a lot of delightful experiences in my life.  I've been blessed with super-parents and 8 brothers and sisters who I couldn't live without.  I've been blessed with a love and passion for music.  I've been so lucky to have so many people and experiences that have eternally marked my soul.  

Sharing my life with someone who fits so perfectly with me has been the greatest experience of all.  We have our own little world together that no one will quite understand, except maybe God.  I'm in love with my husband.

When the moon hits your eyes.

It's been a while.  

Life is has been oh so deliciously sweet.  I'm head over heels for mon petite chou chou (my little cabbage...an endearing french term).  He is oh so ravishing and I love him more and more each day.  We have officially decided that we are staying in DC for the next year and a half.  We will be learning the ropes of the pest control business.  I'm excited to settle down here (for a little while at least).  I am starting to feel a cozy and inviting feeling when I step in our apartment door each day and have developed the habit of saying "home sweet home" as I look around our first home.  Though it is INFESTED with house centipedes (google image search that shiz if you want to be grossed out) and I literally killed a spider on my forehead as I was laying in bed at 4am, we like it.  It is home.

Ben and I are finally taking our honeymoon!  Hooray!  And boy oh boy is Benny boo boo boo making up for the honeymoon tardiness.  We will be spending 3 beautiful weeks in Italy, Greece, and Turkey.  I cannot be more excited!  The last week we will be accompanied by Tim (Ben's brother) and Kelsey (my sister-in-law/my best friend's sister/one of my sister's best friends/my friend who I grew up with) on a Mediterranean cruise.   THAT is Amore!

We leave tomorrow!  Ciao!

Lighters

I know every single word to the rap in the first song on my playlist.  Yep.  Tight, dawg.

I have a music crush on Bruno Mars and Eminem.

First there's Bruno.  His writing style is simple and catchy.  His melodies have a big range and are quite dreamy while his lyrics are funny but extremely simple and cliche (haha I LOVE cliche).  My own writing style consists of pretty simple lyrics mixed with a wide ranged melody so I heart Bruno (On a musical level, you guys.  Totally platonic.  I'm a married woman and I'm insulted you would even think anything else).

Then there's Eminem.  Totally opposite.  In my opinion, Eminem is one of the most quick witted musicians ever.  Notice I didn't say rapper.  I usually brush rappers off.  I can count on one hand how many rappers I have respect for on a musical level.  I call Eminem a musician because his gift for rhythm is remarkable.  On top of that, his raps are completely unique and clever.

Eminem is a bluntly honest rapper while Bruno is an idealist lyricist.  Together it's chips and salsa.

*As a side note, the song on my playlist is edited.  I would not suggest downloading the unedited version.  I apologize for the one word that is not edited out.